Adjusting to Sole Custody Parenting Post-Divorce

 Posted on July 20, 2018 in Divorce

Adjusting to life after a divorce can be incredibly difficult for the separating spouses as well as the entire family unit. For children, coming to terms with the separation of their parents can be an emotionally turbulent process. When courts are asked to intervene in issues of custody, sole physical custody is the most commonly pursued form of child custody among divorcing parents. Sole physical custody is defined simply as a custodial arrangement in which one parent has custody of the children for more than 50 percent of the time.

According to the United States Census Bureau, approximately 25 percent of all children nationwide reside with one parent. Adjusting to life as a sole custodial parent can be extremely challenging, especially as one simultaneously copes with the emotions of a divorce from his or her former spouse. If you are preparing for the divorce process and exploring the possibility of sole physical custody, contacting an experienced divorce attorney can make all the difference in ensuring your children live the life they deserve.

Becoming a Sole-Custodial Parent

When one parent takes over as the sole custodial parent for his or her children, there is an adjustment period for the entire family. The children are forced to adjust to the divorce of their parents, the parent not granted custody must grapple with the reality that they will no longer be the legal guardian of their children, and the parent granted sole physical custody is now faced with handling the pressures of being the lone decision maker and parent of their children. Consider the following suggestions that could help you adjust to being a sole custodial parent.

Maintain a Relationship With Your Ex

While you will be faced with the pressures of raising your children without your former spouse, maintaining a healthy relationship with your former spouse can be beneficial for the whole family. In the vast majority of sole custody cases, the parent without custody is still granted visitation rights. This enables the children to maintain a relationship with the other parent, provides the other parent the option to continue to play a role in the lives of the children, and can give the sole custodial parent some much deserved relaxation time.

Maintaining a cordial relationship with your former spouse can be incredibly beneficial in scheduling visitation, and avoiding conflicts around the children. Adjusting to life with separated parents can be excruciatingly difficult for children of all ages, doing what you can to maintain a friendly relationship with your former spouse can be monumental in your child’s development.

Maintain Your Children's Schedules

As mentioned above, in the vast majority of divorce cases, children struggle emotionally to handle the separation of their parents. Dealing with the emotions of your children, by yourself, can be increasingly challenging. A great way to help your children cope with the divorce is by maintaining their scheduled activities. Scholastic events and extracurriculars can be great for children as they adjust to their regular life without one of their parents.

One of the greatest benefits of sole-custody parenting is the fact that the children can primarily live in one location, and potentially stay in their same school district. In some cases, children may even live in the same house they lived in prior to the divorce. Maintaining your children's schedule can help you maintain a healthy and thriving relationship with them as well.

Do Not Take Things Personally

Life as a sole-custodial parent can be difficult to adjust to, simply due to the increase in responsibilities and the weight of primarily raising your children without your former spouse. For children, adjusting to this change in lifestyle can be extremely difficult as well. In many cases, children will lash out at the sole-custodial parent as they cope with the emotions of a divorce.

To make matters worse, the other parent is often able to avoid regular parenting responsibilities such as chores, homework, and discipline, due to the infrequency of their visitation. In many cases the child will return to their primary parent with an unhappy approach to everyday life. Avoiding the urge to take your child’s actions personally can help you approach parenting with a more level-headed strategy.

Contact an Experienced Legal Team

At The Stogsdill Law Firm P.C., our team of compassionate Wheaton divorce attorneys know just how difficult a divorce can be for the entire family. With years of experience under our belts, our team is structured to help you find the most beneficial custodial situation for your children. Call us today at 630-462-9500.

Sources:

https://www.verywellfamily.com/overview-of-sole-physical-custody-2997671

https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/fam-16191.pdf