Can I Divorce My Spouse if They Abandoned Me?

 Posted on December 25, 2025 in Divorce

The American Psychological Association cites the statistic that 40 to 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. In almost all divorce cases, both spouses agree that the marriage is over and are involved in the divorce process. In some situations, however, one spouse makes the decision on their own to end the marriage – even if they never file for divorce. 

If you are reading this because your spouse walked out, stopped coming home, or simply disappeared from your life, you are probably asking a very basic and very fair question: Can I divorce my spouse if they abandoned me?

The short answer is yes. The longer answer, which is the one that actually matters, depends on how Illinois law looks at abandonment and how it can affect different parts of a divorce case.

If you’re not sure where your husband or wife is but you’re ready to move on with your life, our Wheaton divorce attorneys can help you get the divorce process started in 2026. Call 630-462-9500 today. 

What Is Spousal Abandonment in Illinois?

In everyday language, abandonment usually means one spouse leaves the marital home and does not come back. Spousal abandonment generally refers to a situation where one spouse leaves the marriage without:

• Justification

• The other spouse’s consent

• Providing support or trying to continue the marriage 

This can include moving out, cutting off communication, or refusing to help financially.

Illinois does not have a strict legal definition of abandonment that automatically triggers a divorce. This is because Illinois follows a no-fault divorce system under 750 ILCS 5/401. 

Does Illinois Allow Divorce Based on Abandonment?

Illinois is a no-fault divorce state. That means you do not need to prove that your spouse did something wrong to get divorced. You do not need to show abandonment, cheating, cruelty, or anything else.

Instead, Illinois allows divorce based on irreconcilable differences. This simply means the marriage has broken down and cannot be fixed. So even if your spouse abandoned you, you do not file for divorce by saying, "My husband or wife left me." You file by saying the marriage is no longer workable. You don’t have to give any reasons why. 

That often surprises people, especially those who feel they have been wronged by their spouses. While the grief and anger of abandonment are very real, the legal process focuses less on assigning blame and more on helping people separate once they know it won’t work out.

When Does Abandonment Still Matter in a Divorce?

Even though proving abandonment is not required to get divorced, it can still play a role once the case moves forward. Judges have to follow the law, and under the law, real-life behavior that affects finances and children matters.

Abandonment may be relevant in several areas of a divorce, including:

• Child custody and parenting time

• Spousal support, also called alimony or maintenance

• What a spouse did with the family money before the divorce 

Abandonment is less likely to affect property division directly, but it can still shape the overall picture of the marriage and its breakdown.

How Does Abandonment Affect Child Custody Decisions?

If you have children, this is probably your biggest concern. Illinois courts decide custody, now called the allocation of parental responsibilities, based on the best interests of the child.

When one parent has been absent, uninvolved, or unavailable for a long period of time, that matters. A judge must consider which parent has been showing up consistently, who has been providing care, and who has been making day-to-day decisions for the child.

Abandonment does not automatically strip a parent of rights, but it can influence parenting time and decision-making authority. A parent who left for a long time may need to rebuild trust and involvement before getting back significant parenting time.

Can Abandonment Impact Spousal Support in Illinois?

Spousal support is meant to help one spouse who can’t support themselves on just one income after a divorce. Courts look at factors like the length of the marriage, each spouse’s income, and each person’s ability to support themselves.

If your spouse abandoned you and left you carrying the financial load alone, that history can matter. It may help explain financial hardship or a sudden loss of support. While alimony payments are not meant to punish anyone, abandonment can provide context and justification for alimony payments.

That being said, if your spouse walked away and you’re having a hard time finding them, getting them to actually pay alimony is not always a simple matter. Our attorneys can help you aggressively pursue spousal and child support payments if necessary. 

What About Property Division After Abandonment?

Illinois divides marital property based on equitable distribution. This means property is divided fairly, not necessarily equally.

Abandonment alone does not usually change who gets what property in a divorce. A spouse does not lose their share of marital property simply because they left. However, if abandonment led to financial waste, unpaid bills, or debt that one spouse had to cover alone, judges can consider those facts when they divide a couple’s assets. 

Again, the court looks at fairness. The story behind the numbers can matter just as much as the numbers themselves.

Can You Divorce a Missing or Unreachable Spouse?

Sometimes abandonment goes a step further, and a spouse intentionally becomes difficult or impossible to reach. Illinois law still allows divorce in these situations, but the process can be more complicated.

You will likely need to show that you made reasonable efforts to locate your spouse and that you could not. This can involve service by publication or other alternative methods. These cases require careful handling to avoid delays or mistakes, and you should have an attorney help you make sure you’re doing it right if you have to take this path. 

What Should You Do If Your Spouse Abandoned You?

First, take a breath. You are not stuck. Illinois law gives you a path forward, even if your spouse chose to walk away.

Second, make sure you keep track of everything that happens. Keep records of bills you’ve paid, efforts you’ve made to contact your spouse, and your relationship with your children. These details will matter later.

Third, talk with a divorce attorney who understands how abandonment fits into Illinois divorce law. A large, established firm can help you see the full picture – not just the legal rules, but how they apply to real families.

Call a DuPage County, IL Divorce Attorney Today

If you have been abandoned and are thinking about divorce, it helps to speak with someone who has seen these situations many times before. Our Wheaton, IL divorce lawyers at The Stogsdill Law Firm, P.C. bring more than 100 years of combined experience to cases involving separation, abandonment, custody, and support.

We will take the time to explain your options and help you move forward, even in a tough situation. Call 630-462-9500 to schedule a consultation.