How Does Visitation Work When Parents Live in Different States?

 Posted on April 04, 2025 in Child Custody

Often, when couples divorce, at least one of them will move. Whether this move is within the state of Illinois or crosses a state line can make a difference in how parenting time works. Divorce and the allocation of parental responsibilities begin in the most appropriate venue, which is almost always where the children live and will continue to live and attend school.

If the parents are living in different states during the divorce and the parental responsibility allocation, then the state where the children have lived for the past six months has jurisdiction. Many times, however, the parents may have lived in the same state during the divorce before one of them moves out of state.

There are many ways this can affect parenting time. Speaking to an experienced Wheaton, IL family law attorney can help you and your ex determine how parenting time will work from a significant distance. While it can be extremely challenging to exercise the right to parenting time from another state, it can be done.

How Does Parental Decision-Making Work When One Parent Lives in Another State?

Perhaps both parents lived in Illinois when the allocation of parental responsibilities was determined. At that time, it was determined that it was in the best interests of the child for both parents to make parenting decisions regarding health, education, religion, and other important issues.

If the parent with less parenting time then moves out of state, this arrangement could be expected to continue unless the parents are unable to communicate effectively with one another. If there is little positive communication between the parents, then the parent who lives in Illinois will likely be given the responsibility of making decisions on behalf of the child.  

How Can Parenting Time Work for an Out-of-State Parent?

If parenting time was allocated when both parents lived in Illinois, changes may need to be made when one parent moves out of state. Parenting time is allocated based on the child’s adjustment to his or her home, community, and school, along with the distance between the parents’ residences, the daily schedules of the child and the parents, and the ability of the parents to cooperate with one another.

Assuming the parent with more parenting time is the one who still resides in Illinois, then it would also be assumed that the child attends school in Illinois. This means that unless the child is not yet school-age, a parenting schedule for the out-of-state parent must be built around the child’s school schedule. Many parents who live in different states work out a parenting schedule that looks something like this:

• The out-of-state parent has the child for at least half of every summer break.
• The out-of-state parent alternates major holidays with the other parent, including Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as the child’s birthdays.
• The out-of-state parent has half of the winter school break with the child and alternates every spring break (or splits the spring break in half).
• The out-of-state parent gets every three-day weekend that the child’s school schedule allows.

Of course, the parents can agree on any schedule that works for them and for the child. An older child who has lots of extracurricular activities or a heavy school schedule may have less time.

Who Pays for Interstate Travel for the Child or Children?

Travel can be expensive, even more expensive if the travel involves airplane transportation because of the distance. If the parents live many states away from one another, making auto transportation impractical, then if the child is old enough, he or she may be able to fly on his or her own to see the other parent. The costs of interstate travel could be split by the parents, either by their own agreement or by court order. In many cases, Illinois courts may order the parent who left the state to be responsible for the child’s travel expenses.

Is a New Parenting Plan Required When a Parent Moves Out of State?

Parenting plans contain details about each parent’s parenting time as well as scheduling details that include pickup and drop-off times and places. Once the court approves a parenting plan, it is a legally binding document. When a parent moves out of state, changes will need to be made to the parenting plan.

If the parents are unable to agree on these changes, a judge will make those decisions. The relocating parent will need to file a petition to modify the current parenting time based on the move. The other parent can propose a different revised schedule, and the judge will decide on the changes based on the best interests of the child by considering the following:

• The circumstances and reasons for the relocation of the parent
• The history and quality of each parent’s relationship with the child
• The expected impact of the relocation on the child
• Whether a reasonable parenting schedule can be agreed on, given each parent’s resources and circumstances, and the child’s age and developmental level
• Whether there are ways to minimize any negative effect of the move on the child’s relationship with the moving parent

Tips for Parenting a Child When One Parent Lives Outside Illinois

Parents who are struggling to maintain a close parental relationship with their child after moving out of state may need to adjust their expectations of how that relationship will occur. If the child is older, there will almost always be disappointments for all those involved. Perhaps the child decided to go out with friends, forgetting that the out-of-state parent had planned a FaceTime call during this time.

Or perhaps the parent had an unexpected work commitment during planned communications with the child. While this can be frustrating, it is important to expect roadblocks in this type of situation and learn to be flexible in rescheduling. Strengthening communication between the out-of-state parent and child is essential to help make up for the physical absence.

Talk to the child’s other parent about calling the child more often or having video chats through Zoom, FaceTime, or another similar app. Keep in mind that children seldom have the necessary communication skills to maintain a long-distance relationship, and it may take constant attentiveness from the out-of-state parent to maintain the relationship.

As the out-of-state parent, it can be tempting to become the child’s "buddy," letting the child do whatever he or she wants to do during the times the child is physically present. Disciplining a child may not be the biggest priority when a parent rarely sees his or her child. While understandable, children should always have consistent limits from one parent’s home to the other’s home.  

Contact a DuPage County, IL Parenting Time Lawyer

If you are dealing with an out-of-state parenting situation, you may need help from a Wheaton, IL parenting time attorney from The Stogsdill Law Firm, P.C. to determine the best strategies for your child and both parents. We are one of the most prestigious firms in the area. As a large firm, we offer exceptional resources and experience to our clients while maintaining a client-centered firm. Call 630-462-9500 today to schedule an initial attorney consultation.