Should We Tell the Kids We Are Getting Divorced?

 Posted on September 16, 2024 in Divorce

It goes without saying that divorce is a very challenging time for most families, and one of the most pressing questions parents face is whether to inform their children about the situation. As you consult with your lawyer and figure out the particulars of what your Illinois divorce will entail, it is important to consider how the decision to get divorced will affect your kids. While it may be tempting to shield kids from adult problems, being open about divorce can help foster emotional understanding and resilience. Here are some reasons why it is a good idea to tell your children about this significant life transition.

The Importance of Being Truthful

Honesty is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. By sharing the news of the divorce with your kids, you promote an environment of trust. Consider these ideas:

• Kids can sense changes – Children are very observant and often notice tension or unease in their surroundings. If parents conceal the truth, it may lead the children to feel confused or anxious.

• Knowledge is empowering – Discussing the situation allows children to process what they are feeling and ask important questions.

• Trust is built through honesty – Being forthright about the divorce reinforces that the parent-child relationship is resilient enough to handle difficult conversations.

Supporting Their Emotions

Getting divorced can stir a wide range of emotions in children – fear, anger, sadness, and confusion are common emotions for children to feel during this time. Talking to them about the divorce can help validate these feelings and alleviate them in the long run. Here is how:

• Acknowledgment is key – Let your children know it is okay to feel a range of emotions. This acknowledgment helps them understand that their feelings are normal.

• Encourage expression – Create a space where your children feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions. This could be through talking, drawing, or journaling.

• Normalize the experience as much as possible – Share that many families go through divorce and that while it is tough, families can emerge from it stronger.

Establishing the "New Normal"

Talking about a divorce allows families to begin setting new norms and expectations. When kids are involved in the conversation, they feel like valued participants in the process. Key considerations include:

• Setting realistic expectations – Discuss logistical changes, such as living arrangements and visitation schedules, so that children know what to expect.

• Creating a co-parenting framework – Let your kids know that both parents will still be there for them and that the love will remain despite the change in family dynamics.

• Encouraging routines – Help maintain consistency in their daily lives by establishing new routines and traditions that keep the family connected.

Contact Our Wheaton, IL Divorce Attorney Today

Discussing your divorce with your children is not just a matter of information; it is a crucial step in establishing understanding. Contact the DuPage County, IL divorce lawyers with The Stogsdill Law Firm, P.C. for assistance getting through this difficult process. Call 630-462-9500 for a private consultation.