Can You Be Too Old to Get Divorced?

 Posted on April 23, 2025 in Divorce

Couples who are over the age of 65 are seeing a significant increase in the rate of divorce. Since the 1990s, the divorce rate for those over the age of 65 has tripled, while for those over the age of 55, the divorce rate has doubled. When you consider that one in 10 people who are divorcing in 2025 are over the age of 65, it is a phenomenon that psychologists struggle to make sense of.

Divorce for those over the age of 55 is known as "gray divorce." The increase in divorce among older Americans leaves a growing number of aging adults alone – and often financially insecure – in their "golden" years. Experts have had difficulty pinpointing the exact reasons for gray divorce, but typically attribute it to our increased longevity and the fact that people are less willing to endure unhappy marriages.

This increase in divorces among older couples begs the question of whether a person is "too old" to get divorced. Legally, of course, there is no "cutoff" date for divorce. Couples of any age can divorce, even those in their 80s or 90s.

However, just because a couple can divorce does not necessarily translate into whether they should divorce. There are a number of considerations, many of them different than for those who are younger. Speaking to a knowledgeable Wheaton, IL divorce attorney can help you determine whether divorce is right for you – regardless of your age.  

Why Do Older Couples Divorce?

Older women are more likely to file for divorce because of verbal, physical, and mental abuse by a partner – the same reasons a younger woman might file for divorce. Older men are more likely to file for divorce because of a partner’s illness and are more likely to remarry quickly. Other reasons for gray divorce include:

• The children are grown and may have moved to another part of the United States. Many couples are so caught up in raising children that they fail to realize how much they have grown apart until the children are gone.  
• Disagreements regarding finances are a common reason for divorce. While couples of any age may disagree about money, older couples are more likely to argue about investments and retirement funds.  
• Many older couples were born in the era when couples stayed together regardless of how unhappy one or both of them were. Today, there are greater opportunities for life fulfillment through hobbies, traveling, and friendships.
• A lack of intimacy in a relationship is one of the primary reasons for divorce, no matter the ages of those involved. Intimacy does not have to specifically mean sex; intimacy is a closeness between two people that includes being able to talk to one another about wants and desires.
• Older couples have often settled into a routine that can feel repetitive and stagnant due to a lack of spontaneity.

Pros and Cons of Gray Divorce

Financial issues are often the most complex area of gray divorce. Older women, in particular, often experience more negative financial implications than men, with a woman’s household income dropping between 23 percent and 40 percent in the years following the divorce. The economic effects for men are typically much less severe, with some studies showing a man’s income is more likely to rise after a gray divorce.  

Younger women are more likely to have a job or career than older women, many of whom supported their spouse’s career goals and/or stayed home to care for the home and children. Since older women may not have worked a significant number of years, their Social Security benefits are likely to be significantly less than their husbands’ benefits. Other potential negative aspects of gray divorce include:

• If both spouses are retired at the time of the divorce, spousal support for the wife is unlikely to be awarded.
• If the couple was unable to save a significant amount for retirement, the wife may be left with virtually no retirement funds.
•  Many older couples have borrowed against their homes, perhaps to pay medical bills or help their adult children, leaving the marital home as much of a liability as an asset.

Benefits of gray divorce include:

• Spouses may have an opportunity to find happiness by pursuing their own interests or even beginning new relationships.
• Women, in particular, may finally have the opportunity to live the life they always wanted, despite financial challenges.
• Older women are more likely than older men to have female friends they can lean on during the divorce and enjoy fun outings with – something they may not have had the opportunity to do when married.
• Once divorced, both spouses often develop deeper relationships with their children on their own than they had as a couple.

Issues to Consider in a Gray Divorce

While property division and finances can be complex during a gray divorce, there are other issues to consider as well. It is essential that the division of retirement accounts and pension plans be equitable.

Retirement accounts are often worth more than even the marital home. The spouse who is being awarded half of the other spouse’s retirement funds needs to ensure the fund’s worth is properly assessed and split fairly.

If one spouse received his or her health insurance through the other spouse’s employment, then where that spouse will get health insurance is an important question. If the spouse is 65, he or she qualifies for Medicare. Otherwise, looking at health insurance through the Affordable Care Act could be necessary.

If neither spouse has retired, spousal support may be necessary to ensure the lesser-earning spouse can financially survive. Relationships with adult children and extended family members may change during a gray divorce.

After a marriage of 40, 50, or even more years, in-laws may feel as much like family as the spouse’s own family, making it difficult to cut those ties. Adult children may be judgmental about the divorce or even take sides, which can also make divorce more emotionally difficult.  

Contact a DuPage County, IL Divorce Attorney

Whether you should divorce in your later years is a question only you can answer after weighing your own pros and cons. Having a Wheaton, IL divorce lawyer from The Stogsdill Law Firm, P.C. can make a significant difference in the outcome of your divorce. Our law firm is one of the most prestigious in the area.

We are a large firm, which means you have access to every resource necessary to help you get through your divorce in the best way possible. At the same time, we are more like smaller law firms in that we are highly focused on each client. Our legal experience and knowledge are exceptional; call 630-462-9500 today to schedule an initial attorney meeting.