Posted on June 15, 2016 in Divorce

With nearly one million divorces occurring in America each year, one would think that the stigma surrounding the decision to end a marriage had dissipated-or, at the very least, waned over the years. Unfortunately, recent studies indicate that nothing could be further from the truth. In some cases, this could deter some couples from pursuing divorce, despite knowing that it is in their best interest. In the worst of circumstances, the fear of becoming an outcast and lack of support could keep victims in a dangerous marriage. Then, of course, there are those who do go through with divorce and must pick up the pieces alone. Suffice it to say that, the effects of this stigma can be detrimental to society.

Stigma Affects the Religious and Non-Religious Alike

Initially, it would make more sense to assume that the stigma surrounding divorce would only affect those who are religiously affiliated. However, a study on 11 female participants found that even non-religious individuals feel the effects of divorce stigmas. These women, who are often met with a higher social expectation to marry and have children, reported feelings of failure. They admitted to being fearful of talking to their family, friends, and co-workers about the divorce, for fear that they might face judgement for the "failure" of their marriage.

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 Posted on June 13, 2016 in Divorce

Divorce can take much longer than most people anticipate; however, high net worth divorces can take much longer. The division of assets and property and determination of spousal maintenance are extremely difficult to sort out, even in marriages among those with very little to divide. The more there is to divide, the higher the couple's income, the more complex the process becomes.

Case in point: a cancer treatment founder has been in the process of divorce for seven years now and is not even close to being completed, despite there being a valid prenuptial agreement. Therefore, if you are planning on a divorce and have a high value estate or expect there to be arguments over the division of property, assets, and determination of spousal maintenance, be prepared for a potentially lengthy process and know how to ensure you are effectively represented.

Know the Value of Estate, Income and Assets

While not all spouses hide money, the National Endowment for Financial Education found that approximately 31 percent of Americans are deceptive about money in one form or another. The deception could be as simple as a hidden bank account, a secret credit card, or a stash of hidden cash. It could be as complex and difficult to track as an offshore account. Or it could fall somewhere in the middle, which could include anything from lying about how much the house or the vehicles are worth or being elusive about how much money is coming in each month.

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 Posted on June 06, 2016 in Alimony

The subject of alimony (spousal maintenance) can be a touchy one for couples entering the divorce process. It is common for a spouse to request alimony following the dissolution of marriage, but the definition and parameters of alimony can vary and are sometimes difficult to determine. This is often due to differing opinions and disagreements between spouses when it comes time to settle the details.

The purpose of spousal maintenance is to arrange and guarantee financial support for one spouse-provided by the other-to prevent any financial difficulties after the divorce. The spouse who earns less is given a monthly payment from the higher earning spouse to account for regular living expenses and necessities.

The Roles of Mediators and Attorneys

If you and your spouse have decided to divorce, then it is time to make alimony arrangements. Yet where do you start? First, you will need to consult with an attorney. Lawyers and Mediators are trained to break down the legal aspects of the negotiation process for you. They will not only explain the process and technical details, they will also assist in determining the correct amount you should receive, answer any questions you might have, and guide you in a way that protects your best interests from start to finish. Mediation is an efficient process with proven success rates. Moreover, mediation facilitates communication and negotiation between both parties and helps them reach a mutual agreement.

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 Posted on June 03, 2016 in Child Custody

Even with the recent changes to Illinois' allocation of parental responsibility, there are still areas that remain fairly grey. If, for example, an older child wishes to spend more time with one parent, will his or her wishes be taken into consideration in a custody case? And, if so, how much weight is given to that preference? If you are the parent of a teen in an upcoming divorce case, understand these elements of parental time allocation and how it may apply to your situation.

Child's Wishes - One of Many Factors

While some states may allow children to make a fairly definitive decision about which parent they would rather live with, Illinois has attempted to alleviate parental battles and family strife by taking a more family-centered approach to the allocation of parenting time. Essentially, this means that the child's wishes are just one of many factors that are considered when a judge determines how long each parent will spend with the child. Other factors that are often considered include:

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 Posted on June 01, 2016 in Divorce

Those who are in the midst of divorce or are recently divorced face a number of transitions, especially when it comes to raising children and adapting to new lifestyle arrangements. Regardless of your situation, it is natural to feel overwhelmed and uncertain of how to navigate your new life as a divorced parent.

Gathering resources and seeking out a support system are key to ensuring the smoothest transition possible. Bumps in the road are inevitable where family separation is concerned; however, divorce can be a smooth, mutual decision with minimal negative impact when effort is made to take care of yourself and any children involved.

Speak with Your Child's School

Inform teachers of the changes happening in your family and speak to the guidance counselor so he or she can arrange a talk with your child. Be clear about the details you do and do not want given to the school personnel. Also, be sure to let the teachers know you do not want your child to have any special treatment, as it is good to maintain your child's routine during stressful times.

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 Posted on May 25, 2016 in Child Custody

Whether you are in the stages of drafting a plan for parenting time (child visitation), making arrangements for allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody), or you find yourself in the beginning stages of divorce, parental conflict is inevitable as you navigate separation.

While a number of marriages end mutually with little, if any, drama, it is not uncommon for those separating to experience a wide range of emotions and feelings of unresolved resentment during the split. This can lead to excess tension that impacts the children during the divorce and ultimately can leave marks on the entire family long after the separation is complete.

Keeping the Peace

DuPage County offers a number of resources and services for families undergoing these kinds of transitions, including something they call the PEACE program. This program is a conflict management group designed for high-conflict parents, comprised of two-hour group sessions that aim to help parents use coping and communication skills that keep children out of the parental conflict as much as possible. During sessions, parents are provided with tools such as role playing activities, peer coaching, and supervised practice to equip them with the techniques they need to protect their children.

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 Posted on May 23, 2016 in Divorce

When you have made the decision to end your marriage, nothing can truly prepare you for the emotional and mental toll that divorce entails. The journey is mentally exhausting and can wreak havoc on the whole family. However, the moment you decide to call it quits, you take the first step in resolving your marital problems and working toward a better, healthier future. The road before you might look long and bleak initially, but as you begin to face the challenge before you, the pressure will lessen over time and a light at the end of the tunnel will appear.

Legal Separation and Divorce

Before some couples begin the divorce process, they consider legal separation, which allows them to live separately and make financial and lifestyle arrangements that protect their best interests during the time apart. This arrangement also gives both spouses time to pursue self-help, therapy, and space to reflect on whether or not divorce is the right solution. To file for legal separation, you must be living apart at the time and you may not marry anyone else during this period, as you are still married according to the law. If legal separation is not a step you wish to take, beginning the divorce process is the first course of action.

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 Posted on May 18, 2016 in Child Custody

As of January 2016, Illinois State no longer uses the term child custody, but instead refers to it as the allocation of parental responsibilities - These responsibilities include deciding who will have visitation (parenting time) with your child and when, lifestyle decisions for your family, and how you plan to execute those decisions.

As a single parent going through a divorce, you likely have many questions about the allocation of parental responsibilities and need to know where to turn for help. DuPage County's Family Center division is an excellent resource for parents attempting to navigate the post-divorce world. Ways your county and state can provide you with assistance in the child custody process include the following:

Mediation

Mediation plays a role in the child custody as it is designed to help assist parents in negotiating a parenting plan that best suits their family. This is only put into practice via court order, so should you need help finding common ground on parental responsibilities, you will need to speak with your lawyer and address the issues you and your spouse are having in court. During mediation, a professional Mediator will help provide a civil, respectful environment for you and your spouse to discuss disagreements and identify your children's needs so you can give them the safest, most stable living environment possible.

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 Posted on May 16, 2016 in Divorce

Several factors can influence whether or not a couple will eventually divorce. Education level, income bracket, and the presence of condescension or defensiveness in a marriage have all been studied and examined. Now, a new potential factor-a woman's oxytocin levels-is receiving attention. Surprisingly enough, researchers say they have uncovered a possible link.

What is Oxytocin?

Otherwise known as the "love hormone," oxytocin is thought to play a crucial role in bonding, sexual pleasure, lactation, and social interaction. In fact, higher levels of this hormone are released into the mother's blood stream after birth so that she may bond and breastfeed. The American Psychological Association believes this hormone may also play a role in marital bonds, including whether or not a couple manages to weather the first few years of child rearing.

Study Reveals Lower Oxytocin Levels in Pregnant Mothers Who Later Separate

Presented at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology's annual meeting in San Diego, the study examined saliva samples of 341 pregnant women to determine their oxytocin levels. Samples were collected during the first trimester and then again seven to nine weeks after birth. Researchers then followed up with 188 of the women to determine whether or not they were still married two-and-a-half years after they gave birth. The majority of them were (90 percent), but seven had separated from the partner they were with at the time of birth.

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 Posted on May 11, 2016 in Divorce

Over the last decade, the divorce rate for those over the age of 50 has more than doubled. The trend is spurred, in part, by the longer, healthier lives that many adults are living today. However, societal shifts and marital changes that come about after the children have left the nest are also thought to be contributing factors. Whatever the reasons, there is an important warning that "gray" divorcees should heed before filing the paperwork: prepare and plan because the financial impact of a later-life divorce could lead to poverty.

Retirement, Age, and Lack of Resources a Major Problem

Most couples-including those that divorce later in life-split assets and financial resources during the divorce process, and this extends to retirement assets, such as 401K plans and nest eggs that a couple may have spent years building. Designed to work for both parties when they stay together, that splitting of resources can have a significant impact on how one or both individuals live once the divorce is over. This is especially true if one or both have already reached the age of retirement and are unable to return to the workforce.

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